The Trinity and Marriage

A few years ago I married Joy. So far it’s been a great decision, however when we first got married I was left wondering what on earth I’m supposed to be doing as a husband. I grew up in a working class area in Geelong where most men went outside the home for work while most women took on extra home duties. But I then went off and studied at a University where I was taught that there are essentially no differences between men and women (other than physiological ones). In my hometown I saw from the outside what looked like a sound pattern but that idea was torn to shreds at University.

So when I got married I was left rather confused. I asked myself, ‘Is it good for me to be somewhat distinct from my wife? And is it appropriate to encourage her to likewise be different to me?’ Society at large would say ‘no’, however I’ve always had a lingering feeling that the differences between men and women are more profound and ingrained than simply physiological. Which, of course, left me in a pickle.  

However, thankfully, there were answers to my queries that were more than just conjecture, because the Bible speaks directly into my life as a husband. Certainly there are passages like Ephesians 5 which shed light, but my first concern in this article will be more general. I initially want to think about God.

For the God of the Christian hope exists eternally as the “three in one”. Three persons who are eternally and unchangeably one God. It’s tempting at times to throw our hands up in the air and give in when we hear that God is both three and one. But the importance of this doctrine for our daily relationships is paramount. 

For the Triune God created men and women in his image. God “created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” which tells us that God in his infinite wisdom and generosity created men and women in his image to be equal yet distinct. We see further that men and women are created in the image of the Triune God in the use of the plural ‘us’ in Genesis 1:26. Meaning that as men and women we are created equal yet different in order to image the Triune God.

In light of this, therefore, it’s the wonder of the Triune God that elucidates the challenges that a newly married man will face. God created men and women differently yet equally just as God exists eternally as three different persons who are all unchangeably and equally one God. Consequently, it is entirely appropriate for me and my wife to exhibit differences in our roles, responsibilities and marital relations. We were created that way! 

So as a married man, in accordance with God’s Word, I should endeavour to live and act differently to my beautiful wife. Given that we’re both created in God’s image we’re both equal in God’s eyes, however, just as God exists as Father, Son and Spirit, with distinction in his unity, performing different roles and exhibiting different ways of relating, so also should we live and act differently. We are all created to image the Triune God, and in marriage in particular we do that by remaining distinct within our union. All of which lays the groundwork for Ephesians 5 where the wonder of marriage points to far greater realities.